A Lesson Taken From The Movies. . .

by Steven Mattingly

This past weekend I engaged in one of my favorite guilty pleasures, watching an oldie moldy movie.  This Sunday in between watching the 2012 London Olympics, I watched one of my favorite oldie moldy movies, “Now Voyager”, starring Bette Davis, Paul Henreid and Claude Raines.  I remember this movie from my childhood.  As an adolescent I think I spent many Sunday afternoons during winter watching outdated movies on “Sunday Afternoon at the Movies” on the television with my mother.  To this day there are movies that bring flashbacks of the avocado green Naugahyde covered couch, the orange Naugahyde covered chair, and multiple bowls of popcorn watching the black and white television.  I can also reminisce about the oversized ashtrays and the matching antiqued end tables with matching lamps, but I’ll save that for another time.

There are a fair number of familiar Bette Davis quotations:  “If you want a thing well done, get a couple of old broads to do It.”; “Hollywood always wanted me to be pretty, but I fought for realism.”  But my favorite remains: “Old age is no place for sissies.” 

These are great and very true words about the aging process.  Residents of our communities encounter the things that we’ll call bullies each and every day.  Arthritis, stroke recovery, cancer, congestive heart failure, congestive obstructive pulmonary disorder, diminished vision, diminished hearing, family members who don’t have time to listen, family members who don’t want to listen, and a healthcare system that systematically fails to treat them as adults and far too many more to name.   A few of our residents have only one demon to look in the eye each day but for most, a whole gang of bullies sizes them up each day ready to pummel them with as much hurt and force as they can manage. 

With age there sometimes comes a unique grace and certain degree of suave in managing the bullies that are found on life’s path.  I am amazed each and every day at the aplomb and fortitude shown by residents as they stare down, beat back, and conquer their individual bullies.  Every now and then I’ll hear residents comparing their list of bullies and it sounds almost like a game of one-up-man-ship.  There is a strange reverence reserved for those who defeat the biggest number of bullies routinely. It reminds me of the game “King of the Hill”.   Remember that the next time your family member or loved one starts reciting the list of their various ailments.  It not that they are complaining, perhaps they are just getting ready for their next game of “King of the Hill”.

The title of the movie “Now Voyager” is taken from a poem titled “The Untold Want” by Walt Whitman.  In a pivotal scene for the character played by Bette Davis she is handed a piece of paper with the following lines; The Untold Want By Life and Land Ne'er Granted Now, Voyager Sail Thou Forth to Seek and Find Life isn’t the movies and no one gets handed a piece of paper telling them to sail forth and seek and find.  But a good swift punch will beat back the bullies each and every time. Steven Mattingly is the Executive Director of Pacifica Senior Living in San Leandro, CA.