Memory loss is such
a strange thing. You can’t see it. You can’t touch it. You can’t hear it. You
can’t smell it. You can’t taste it.
Staring into the
eyes, ears, nose or throat with the naked eye cannot give you a clue. Palpation
and percussion of the head or neck will reveal nothing. Listening to the chest
or smelling of the breath won’t work either. The usual tools that Mom used to
diagnose our childhood illnesses or that the family doctor or office nurse
could employ are worthless.
Memory loss is like
a brewing storm- you just don’t know it’s coming if you’re not paying
attention. Or, it is like a stealth bomber- you never even saw it coming until
the bomb hits. Unfortunately, the disease that will ravage the brain and steal
the memory is a pretty sneaky entity.
Those of us who are
already touched by this illness have an inside track on new medications,
diagnostics, and approaches to diagnosing and treating the memory disorder. Yet
still, we are where we are- probably not ever having guessed that we would be
here.
Those who have not
yet been touched may have a niggling worry in the back of their mind. They may
have a family history or a predisposing gene. They may know someone who has
dealt with this illness. For the most part, though, these folks walk through
their daily routines not suspecting that their lives may change at any moment.
When memory loss
begins to become apparent, we can deny, we can rationalize and we can make
excuses. But as the loss becomes more pronounced, the disease has already snuck
in the back door and has probably been living with us for some time already.
The ravaging of the brain cells has already begun- slowly but surely robbing us
of the one we knew.
Standing before us
is the loved one who looks all the word like the person we have known. Their
hair is the same color, their smile the same, their walk and gestures so
familiar. Yet, all the while we are looking at that same corporeal body, the
essence… the mind… the thoughts… habits… behavior… are slipping away.
By the time we can
deal with the early losses, another progression of the disease process has
snuck in. We see a subtle, or sometimes, marked change. More and more, the
losses take their toll and soon the corporeal body begins to fail as well. Only
now can we see it, touch it, hear it so clearly.
Memory loss is
indeed a strange thing, an insidious thing, a terrible thing. And still, we are
where we are- never having guessed that we would be here. Would that we could
change it. Would that we could make it go away. Would that a “cure” can be
found.
In the meantime, we
support one another with an understanding that no one, no one who has not been
touched will know. We hug each other and say, “I know”. We face the inevitable
together.
And we understand that we have been blessed-
blessed with our friends and family support, blessed for having the chance to
remember even though they have forgotten- blessed to have had them in our lives
and our love.
Author:
Christine Varner
Executive Director at Pacifica Senior Living Belleair, FL
Memory Care Community
