By Steven Mattingly
At our daily meeting recently our team was reviewing our staff’s
concerns about a particular resident’s behavior. We discussed various strategies and different
approaches that we might use to help this somewhat new resident more easily
adjust to the daily rhythm of our community.
Our Culinary Service Director chose an unexpected and interesting word
to describe his suggestion. That word was finesse.
I was amazed to observe how quickly our discussion took on a
totally different tone. Prior to this
brilliant word use, the focus had been on preventative and outcome driven
strategies. By thinking how we might finesse our interactions with this
individual, a much more caring attitude was immediately apparent. The team began to examine how our approach
and actions would affect the resident’s response. Instead of taking actions that we thought
would give the desired result quickly; we began to think in terms of building a
multi-step process with individual small results. The small successes would allow us to build toward
the bigger goal that we hoped to achieve.
When we thought about it even more we realized that this approach would
offer continual positive reinforcement to the resident. As we all have heard more than once, success
breeds success.
I recently downloaded a dangerous new “app” for my smart
phone that may take over my life as it once did when I was in college, Bridge. Why could that happen? Both my mother’s and my father’s families
whenever they gathered for any family event, inevitably a card game of some
type would break out. Eucher (sp), Hearts,
Canasta, Spades, Tripoli, numerous Poker variations, or Buckpitch were just a
few of the games I learned to play. It
seemed perfectly normal at both of my parent’s funerals to have extended family
members playing various card games in the side rooms of the funeral home. I think it may be a Southern thing.
When I arrived at college I was introduced to Bridge and for
a good portion of my freshman year I along with other card playing friends from
my college days, ate dinner early and retired to Parrish Parlors for an hour or
two or three of competitive bridge. We
used rotating dummies so you learned to play various styles of bridge quickly. I found that my card playing days with my
family pre-college served me well. If
you are a regular reader, at this point you are asking yourself “where is he
going with this?”.
Back to the art of finesse.
When our Culinary Director used finesse to describe a resident care
strategy it just seemed so obvious. Card
games like Bridge use finesse to overcome missing trump or face cards in order
to win the required number tricks to meet the bid amount. It was the classic “aha” moment. Using a bit of finesse when working with
residents allowed us as well as the resident to overcome missing trump cards
and make the bid.
This meeting also produced a flood of memories for me that
included the places and the faces of my past bridge playing time so many years
ago. It is after that meeting that I
searched out the Bridge app that now seems to have taken over my spare
time. Each and every time I celebrate a
Bridge finesse I am reminded of how one
simple but out of context word produced a significant change in thought for our
team.
There are obvious challenges for those of us who care for
seniors face on a routine basis. I can
see now how using a little finesse every now and then can produce great
results.
Contributing author Steven Mattingly is the Executive Director of Pacifica Senior Living in San Leandro CA.
